


New Form

by Meikiras



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Gender Dysphoria, Light Angst, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:27:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25811326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meikiras/pseuds/Meikiras
Summary: Ako struggles with how she should fit in with her new identity. How can Rinko help?
Relationships: Shirokane Rinko/Udagawa Ako
Comments: 16
Kudos: 44





	New Form

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alice_dualswordlesbian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alice_dualswordlesbian/gifts).



> this fic was made for my dear friend alice (supposed to go up a month ago on her birthday..... ehehehe) this is the first fic ive finished in ages and it is VERY rough but i hope you enjoy it regardless!!  
> cw for some dysphoric struggles

The first thing Rinko noticed about Ako when they met up at the cafe, was that she looked extremely uncomfortable.

It had been their first meeting since Ako dramatically announced her “transformation” to Rinko over NFO’s ingame chat, that she had been reborn from the darkest depths of hell, having undergone an intense quest to realize her true demonic potential. She compared this “transformation” to how in Pokemon Platinum, when you equip the griseous orb onto Giratina, it unleashes its true, original, awesome power in it’s Origin Forme. She settled on the name “Ako”, after her NFO character. Rinko thought it was adorable, and suited her well.

Ako’s behavior during this meetup, however, didn’t suit her well. She wasn’t her usual bouncy self, she looked… sullen. She was still antsy, but it was less of an energetic antsy, and more of a fidgety, nervous antsy. Ako was acting so unlike her usual self, it stood out.   
  


Something else that stood out to Rinko as well, was Ako’s choice of clothing. Typically, Ako wore all black, and some purple and red mixed in here and there. But here, she was wearing a pink, button up dress. Definitely a departure from her usual style.

Rinko wondered, could this downtrodden attitude be related to Ako’s transformation? Maybe it was like when you’ve just started a new class in an MMO and you’re nervous, because you’re unfamiliar with how it works? Perhaps that was it?  
  
While worrying over her friend, nearly ten minutes had passed. Neither had barely said a word. Ako usually carried the conversation, but today she seemed to be lost in her head, which was usually a behavior reserved for Rinko.   


This… is bad, Rinko thought to herself. Even if she wasn’t sure what exactly to say, she had to say something. Anything. She had spent all those hours over the week, researching the best ways to support her friend, it was time to put it to practice.   
  
“Uhm… Ako? Are you… are you ok?” Rinko tried to say, as gently as she possibly could.

  
“...Huh?” Ako’s eyes broke from their idle staring in space, and fixated themselves on Rinko. “...Oh! Yeah! Yeah, yeah! I’m fine.” Ako gave a smile, a strained one. Lacking the pure unabashed joy that Rinko had come to adore so much.

Rinko frowned. If Ako really was okay, she would’ve climbed up on the table, making a dark declaration about how she was fit to slay even the strongest of super bosses. She wasn’t even speaking like herself anymore. “A-are you sure?” Rinko looked down at her lap, tightly clasping her hands together under the table. Oh god, she was bad at this. “If you, uhm, ever need to talk, I’m… I’m... I’m here for you.”  
  
Ako’s smile grew a little more, but it was still pained. “Thanks Rin-Rin! But I’m fine. Really.”  
  
“Oh… ok.” Rinko nodded.  
  
The conversation stopped. Silence hung in the air once more.

  
Rinko bit her lip. Navigating complex issues like this were so much easier in games, where all the dialogue options were neatly laid out in front of you, and the most you needed to succeed was a decent charisma or speech stat. But this was real life, and Rinko felt herself lacking in both stats. 

“Uhm… I noticed your new dress. It’s quite different from what you usually wear.” A last ditch effort to steer the conversation in a new direction. Maybe talking about Ako’s new look would cheer her up.

Ako’s forced smile completely gave out, flopping into a frown. “Oh, does it not look good?” Ako looked as though she could cry at any moment.

Oh god, oh no, oh no no no no! Rinko felt as though she had just kicked a puppy. This was bad, she had to course correct immediately, lest she veer off road. “Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it in a bad way. Not at all. I think it looks very nice.”

Ako’s seemed to cheer up a little bit at the complement, but not really by a lot. A return to the awkward, forced smile. “Oh! That’s good. I’m kinda glad, I was nervous about wearing a dress like this for the first time.”

Rinko nodded. Was that why she was acting so odd today?

“Truth is… I kinda threw away all my old all my old clothes n’ stuff. Eheh.

….Huh? Rinko blinked. But Ako loved those clothes. “How… come?”

“Well, those clothes were made for like… boys, y’know? Since I’m a girl now I can’t wear that stuff anymore, or it’ll look weird. So even if they feel weird and uncomfy, I’m wearing girls stuff from now on!”

“Your new clothes are uncomfortable?” 

Ako sighed. “Yeah… girls clothes are really confusing! When me and sis went shopping, the size numbers didn’t make any sense! Some were like, way too small, but other clothes that SAID they were the same size as the small stuff were way too big! But I guess I just have to get used to it, like leveling up a weapon skill in… well, never mind. You get what I mean.”

Get what? Had Ako… just cut off her own gamer reference? She never did that!

“But at least, once I can get used to how girls dress, I can finally be super cute!” 

“But you’re always cute, Ako…” Rinko mumbled.

Ako tilted her head to the side a little, like a confused owl. “Huh? What didja say, Rinrin?”

“N-nothing!” Rinko quickly buried her face in her hands, hiding the growing redness in her cheeks.

\--

Rinko flopped on her onto her bed, letting out a deep, heavy sigh. Her attempts to cheer Ako up were pathetic, cringe even. The entire conversation was a complete disaster. Every time Rinko tried to bring up video games, usually a pretty safe topic for the two, Ako would change the topic quickly to something else.

Was… Ako trying to change herself? Discarding any aspects of her old self that seemed “masculine.” If that was what she was trying to do… she didn’t seem too happy about it. 

Rinko let out another sigh. Ako seemed to be struggling with her own sense of self... was there anyway she could help, she thought? Probably not, being so useless she’d just get in the way and make things worse.

...No, no, Ako wouldn’t want her to think like that. Ako needed help, and it was Rinko’s turn to step up and help her friend. Rinko owed Ako as much, for all the times she helped her. Not a day went by where she didn’t think about when Ako first offered to be friends with her, saving her from the lonely darkness with her own, unique, charming brand of darkness. Everytime Rinko felt down, or scared, or nervous, Ako would be there, sending a supportive message, calling her over voice chat, or even coming in person to make sure she was okay.

Rinko felt her lips curve curl into a smile, thinking of all the times her friend had helped her. Ah… she really did lo- LIKE Ako a whole lot.

But helping Ako in the same way wouldn’t be easy. Rinko just wasn’t forward or personable in that way. She knew that she wanted to convey to Ako that she didn’t need to change a thing about her to be a girl, that she could stay the ever wonderful Princess of Darkness. But how to do that…?   
  


Her eyes scanned her room, looking for anything, any source of inspiration that could help her. A bookshelf lined with various manga and gaming strategy guide. A poster of Yami Yugi backed by his various monsters. A dusty piano that hadn’t been touched in years. Nothing seemed to spark any sort of ideas… actually, hang on a moment. Rinko’s eyes settled on the corner of her room. A sewing machine with a half finished cosplay of a Tohou character lying beside it.

The gears began to turn in Rinko’s head. Ako said she threw out her old clothes, because they were “boys clothes”, and had replaced them with more stereotypically feminine clothes. Ako did look cute in them but… Rinko knew that wasn’t Ako’s style. Ako always had a preference for gothic style clothes, and she seemed rather unhappy about giving up that style in. Maybe… just maybe, Rinko could put her skills to some use for once, and help construct clothes for Ako that would not only suit her style, but help her feel safe and comfortable. A message, that she needn’t sacrifice one aspect of her true self to embrace another part of it.

\--

The idea was to create a pair of clothes sleek, yet striking, a perfect fit for a dark lord. A black jacket with patches of red and white, a black and red shirt to go underneath, with a black and purple pleated skirt to match. Nothing too complicated (for Rinko’s standards anyway, this would be extremely complicated for anyone else.) The outfit itself was actually based off a similar one that Ako’s character wore in NFO. If Ako had chosen her new name based off her character, why not base her clothes off it too?

Despite Rinko’s immense skill level, the process was by no means easy. Maybe it was the pressure of the task which caused her to make mistake after mistake. A bad stitch there, an incorrect threading there, at certain points it became a mess that set her back. There were times where she wanted to give up, and torch what she had made.

Thoughts would swirl through her head, as she lay on the floor, crying: This is terrible, there’s no way Ako would like this. She’ll hate it because it’s garbage and she’ll realize how useless I am and then she won’t talk to me anymore and-

But each time, she’d eventually shake those thoughts out her head. There’s no way someone so sweet like Ako would ever leave her. Rinko had to remind herself this wasn’t about her, this was about Ako’s feelings, and Ako needed help. Ako had saved Rinko so many times, it was time for her to save Ako.

\--

At last, it was done. After many pricked fingers, sleepless nights, and a rather frightening sewing machine malfunction (Rinko didn’t know it could make THAT kind of sound), the clothes were finally done. During the time she worked, she noticed that Ako hadn’t logged into NFO at all. A concerning sight to be sure. 

Now that she was done with the hard part, making the clothes, next would come the even harder part: Actually delivering them.

\--

Rinko stood in front of the Udagawa household, gift in hand, wrapped in a black box and purple ribbon. Ako’s favorite colors. The house itself was decently large. It was sometimes easy to forget that Ako’s family was more well off than most, but it made sense given that they could afford her three 60 hertz 4k monitors, complete with the latest state of the art gaming PC. A true gamers haven this house was.

Alright, it’s time, Rinko thought, hand hovering over the doorbell. It’s now or never. It’s time to do the thing she set out to do. To finally make some change. To really get it done. To really make it happen. To complete the quest she set out to do. To-  
  
Oh god yeah she was stalling because she was nervous. Just press the damn button already! Seizing every ounce of what little courage she had, Rinko held her breath, closed her eyes, and open palm slammed the doorbell with all her might.

For a moment. Silence. Nothing. Rinko let one of her eyes open, staring at the door in front of her. Any second now, she was expecting her beloved- er, no, her dearest- um, not that, her GOOD FRIEND Ako to swing the door open and-

Suddenly, the door swung open, revealing the person who answered the bell. Not a short, purpled haired girl, but a much taller girl, with short red hair, and piercing blue eyes.

…OHGODOHGODOHGODSHECOMPLETELYFORGOTABOUTAKOSBIGSISTERWHOISSUPERTALLANDSCARYSHECOULDJUSTSEETHEBOSSHEALTHBARABOVEHERHEADOHGODTHISISWHERESHEDIESISNTINT  
  
“Hey! I know you! You’re Ako’s friend… oh what was it again… Rinko, right? Come on in!”   
  
Oh, right. Ako’s sister, Tomoe, was actually really nice and hospitable. Never mind, false alarm.

Tomoe held the door open and Rinko took the opportunity to walk in, removing her shoes, bowing, and mumbling a small “excuse me” and “thank you” to not seem as though she was imposing.

“What's that you got that there?” Tomoe leaned in to inspect the package in Rinko’s hands, tilting her head slightly in curiosity, just like how Ako would. Although they looked so different, the Udagwas shared many habits and mannerisms. Rink couldn’t help but crack a smile.

“Um, this is, is uh… it’s a gift… for Ako… I made her some clothes…” Rinko replied, staring down at the present in her hands.  
  
“Oh, clothes huh? Come to think of it, I remember Ako mentioning you sewing! She said how extremely cool and talented you were, and how your ‘wizard’s needle crafted only the finest and most powerful of armors’, she seemed real excited talking about it.” Rinko blushed. Ako passionately rambling about Rinko’s sewing talents to her family? That made her heart happy in a way she couldn’t quite describe.

“I’m actually kinda glad you made her some clothes,” Tomoe continued. “A couple of days after she came out, she started throwing out all her old clothes, saying she wanted new, more girl ones.” Tomoe scratched her head. “She even started shoving a lot her game and anime stuff in the closet, saying she didn’t want it anymore. I don’t really understand why she’s acting like this, just a few days ago she loved all this stuff.”  
  
Rinko tightly clutched the present and held it to her chest. “I think… I don’t think it’s that Ako doesn’t like those things anymore… I think it’s that… that she’s scared people will think she’s a boy if she associates with those things.”  
  
Tomoe’s eyes went wide. “OOOHHHHHH, that makes a lot more sense. I guess I never really thought about it like that, I’m kinda masculine myself, and I get mistaken for a boy sometimes, but it never really bothers me. But for someone whose trans… it’s probably a scary thing to think about. I get it now.” Tomoe placed a hand on Rinko’s shoulder, prompting a small yelp. “You know, you’re pretty smart Rinko! No wonder you and Ako get along so well, you might know more about her than I do!” Another statement that caused a strange feeling in Rinko’s heart.

“If you wanna see her, she’s hangin’ out in her room right now. The one up the stairs to the right.” Tomoe’s hand moved from Rinko’s shoulder to her back, giving Rinko a little push forward, causing her to stumble. “Go on. I think seeing you and your gift might be what she needs.”  
  
Rinko turned her head to face Tomoe, smiled, nodded, and then turned back to look towards the staircase. She was filled with determination. She would help Ako, no matter what.

\--

  
  
  


A gentle knock was placed on Ako’s door. Waiting with baited breath, it only took a few seconds for Ako to respond.  
  
The door creaked upon, and in the crevice between the door and the wall Rinko could spot an eye in her favorite shade of crimson, and hair in her favorite shade of lavender. Upon realization of who had knocked, Ako’s door flung open.

Rinko knew what would happen next, it was almost routine every time they saw each other. Ako would have a huge, adorable, smile on her face, shout “Rin-Rin!” and fling herself right at Rinko, enveloping her in a warm, comfy hug.  
  
“Oh, hey Rinko!” Ako casually waved.

Or… that could happen.

Rinko’s heart had sunk a little. Did Ako not like using that nickname for her anymore? Was Ako’s self repression really that bad?

“So watcha here for, Rinko?”   
  


Rinko snapped out of her thoughts. “Oh, I was thinking we could hang out for a little while… if that’s okay with you…”

A huge smile grew on Ako’s face, and instantly Rinko’s heart felt just a little better.

Ako gestured to let Rinko in and Rinko followed suit, entering into Ako’s room. When she walked in she found that the room was barren. She had been in Ako’s room before, so she knew what was off. All the anime posters torn down, and all the games, guides, manga, and figurines hidden away. The room was so sterile and devoid of life.

“So what do you wanna do, Rinko?” Ako asked, sitting herself criss-cross-apple-sauce on the floor. 

“Um…” Rinko sat down as well, placing the gift in her lap. “I was maybe thinking… we could… um… play some video games together? I had fun when we played Fighter’s Acceleration of Suguri 2 together last time…”  
  
“Ahahaha… well, we play games all the time y’know?” Ako scratched her neck sheepishly. “Oh! I know what we can do!” Ako pulled her phone from her pocket. “I’ve been looking up the kinds of things girls do when they hang out and I was thinking-”

Rinko gripped the sides of the present. She had to do this now.   
  


She thrust the gift in front of Ako’s face. “Um, Ako! This is for you!”    


Ako blinked. “For me?”  
  
Rinko nodded.

Ako gently took it out of Rinko’s hands, into her own. Looking down at it, and then back at Rinko, she asked “Can I open this?”

Rinko nodded again.  
  
Ako nodded too in response, and delicately untied the ribbon and removed the box’s lid. If it was from anyone else she would’ve just torn into it without a second thought… but this was a gift from Rinko. It was special.

Ako blinked, a little confused. “Clothes…?” She held up the jacket, with a frown. “These kinda look like my old clothes…”  
  
“Yes… they’re clothes… I made them myself.” Rinko gulped. She needed to speak her mind. “This is a gift for you. I know you’ve been… trying to change yourself… but, I don’t think you need to that. These clothes… are meant to say that you can still be yourself.”  
  
“...So I should go back to how I was? I shouldn’t be a girl anymore?” Ako looked as if she was about to cry.

Oh god. Oh no.

Rinko began flailing her arms wildly “Oh nononononononono! I-I-I I d-didn’t mean that at all!! There’s a skirt in there if you look! I just- you know I-” Rinko cut herself off, taking a deep breath. Panicking wasn’t going to get her anywhere. “What I mean is… I think you being a girl is wonderful… and you don’t have to stop being you... you don’t have to give up your love of goth clothes or video games or anything like that… because that’s who Demon Princess Ako is… whose she’s been long before she realized she was a girl. That’s why I made these clothes. So you can be comfortable with who you really are.”   
  


Ako stared at Rinko completely wordlessly. Rinko said her piece, now she could only hope Ako had gotten the message.

Ako took another look at the clothes in the box. “Hey… Rinko…. No, Rin-rin… do ya mind if I try these on?”

Rinko couldn’t smile any harder if she tried. “Of course, Ako.”

Ako excused herself to the bathroom to change. Rinko sat there waiting with a sense of pride in her heart. She did it… she actually spoke up for once in her life! And it worked! She helped a friend in need! Did having courage always feel so nice? Now she could only hope the clothes fit… and they looked ok. Sewing was the one thing she felt confident in, but the seeds of doubt still crept in.

Eventually, Ako emerged from the bathroom wearing her new clothes, and-  
  
Oh no. She looked WAY too cute. 

“Um, uh, Ako, does it, does it fit ok?” Rinko asked, desperately trying to maintain composure. “If you don’t like it, I can-”

“Fufufufufu…”

Rinko stopped.

“Mwehehehehehe…”

She smiled. She knew what came next.

“MweHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!” Ako cried, throwing one hand over her face in dramatic fashion. “Oh, what a fool I was! To deny myself the comforts of darkness for so long! But now! I have emerged stronger than ever, reborn in the… the um… the… oh y’know… the-”

“The eternally burning flames of hell?” Rinko never felt happier to chip in to one of Ako’s dramatic monologues.

“Yeah! Yeah! That’s really good!” Ako struck another pose, crossing her arms into an X. “Reborn in the eternally burning flames of hell, I’ve emerged in my true form, more powerful than ever before!” Ako spun around, skipped towards her closet and swung it’s doors open, pulling out a jewel case with a CD in it. “Now, what do you say, my most loyal companion? Shall we embark on another virtual journey to the realm of games?”   


Rinko stood up and giggled. It was good to have Ako back. “Of course. I’d be happy to.”  
  
“Yaaaaaaaay! Woohoo!” Ako pumped a fist in the air, and skipped over to her desk, and crouched down to place the disk in her PC. Rinko followed right behind her, smiling ear to ear the whole time. 

Ako stood back up. “Oh yeah, by the way! Thank you Rin-Rin!” Ako leaned right next to Rinko, and planted a kiss on her cheek. “You’re the best friend I could ask for!”   


_ Oh. _

Ako’s true form was far too powerful.


End file.
